


Drastic Measures

by mercurialMalcontent



Category: Homestuck
Genre: M/M, Oral Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-09-04
Updated: 2011-09-04
Packaged: 2017-10-23 10:27:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,753
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/249278
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mercurialMalcontent/pseuds/mercurialMalcontent
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sollux has invited Karkat to his hive for some quality time, only to fall into his coding and ignore his best bulgebuddy for hours. Karkat, understandably irritated, takes drastic measures to get the psionic's attention back where it belongs -- on him.</p>
<p>Originally for the <a href="http://homesmut.livejournal.com/9406.html?thread=15617726#t15617726">kink meme</a>.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Drastic Measures

**Author's Note:**

> eyecandyburns on Tumblr drew some [fucking glorious fanart](http://eyecandyrlybutts.tumblr.com/post/12384983874/moved-from-the-previous-post-for-kidkyan-sorry) inspired by this fic. Those horns! That perspective! That... _hnnngh_.

carcinoGeneticist began trolling twinArmageddons

CG: HEY ASSHOLE.  
TA: kk youre iin my hiive, why are you trolling me.  
CG: BECAUSE TAPPING YOU ON THE SHOULDER DOESN'T WORK.  
CG: NEITHER DOES WAVING MY ARMS, YELLING, OR EVEN GESTURING THREATENINGLY AT YOUR DISGUSTING BEEHIVE MAINFRAMES.  
CG: HOW DO YOU EVEN LIVE AROUND THOSE? THE STENCH ALONE FROM THEM HAS PROBABLY GIVEN ME DIABETES.  
TA: look ii know youre bored but iive got two fiinii2h thii2 thiing.  
TA: ju2t chiill out and play 2ome game2 ok.  
CG: SOLLUX, I AM BEYOND 'BORED'. BORED IS A STATE OF BEING I PASSED THROUGH LONG AGO ON MY WAY TO CLIMBING-THE-FUCKING-WALLS-VILLE.  
CG: I AM ANNOYED, I AM FRUSTRATED, AND I AM, TO BE PERFECTLY HONEST, FEELING REALLY FUCKING NEGLECTED.  
CG: WHY DID YOU EVEN INVITE ME OVER IF ALL YOU WERE GOING TO DO IS GAPE AT YOUR HUSKTOP SCREEN ALL NIGHT.  
TA: excu2e me mii2ter demanding, youre the one who trolled me wiith boo hoo, iim 2o lonely here alone iin my hiive.  
TA: ii told you ii wa2 bu2y.  
CG: YOU TOLD ME YOU HAD ONE MORE LITTLE THING TO DO AND THEN I WOULD HAVE YOUR UNDIVIDED ATTENTION  
CG: AND TO GET INVENTIVE ON HOW I'D WANT THAT ATTENTION.  
CG: FUNNY ENOUGH, THAT DOESN'T SOUND LIKE 'MY STUPID VIRUS PROJECT IS SO FUCKING IMPORTANT I'LL INVITE MY BEST BULGEBUDDY OVER AND THEN IGNORE THE FUCK OUT OF HIM FOR THREE HOURS AND COUNTING'.  
TA: eheheh 2omeone 2ound2 needy.  
TA: al2o, iit2 only been two hour2 and fiifteen miinute2.  
CG: OH EXCUSE THE FUCK OUT OF ME FOR TAKING YOU AT YOUR WORD. PLEASE ACCEPT THIS APOLOGY OF BOTH OF MY MIDDLE FINGERS EXTENDED IN YOUR DIRECTION.  
CG: I WILL KEEP THEM EXTENDED TOWARD YOU AS I BACK OUT OF THE DOOR, JUST IN CASE YOU SHOULD DEIGN TO LOOK UP AT MY LOWLY PASSAGE THROUGH YOUR STY OF A HIVE.  
CG: WHICH, BY THE WAY, IS NOW LESS OF A STY. I CLEANED YOUR NUTRITION BLOCK AND ABLUTION CHAMBER SO I WOULDN'T CHEW MY OWN ARM OFF OUT OF BOREDOM. YOU'RE FUCKING WELCOME.  
CG: ADIOS, YOU MUTANT FREAK.  
TA: kk, waiit.  
TA: you diidnt have two do that.  
CG: OH, NO SHIT? FUCK, AND HERE I THOUGHT THE PRICE OF ME COMING HERE TO DIE OF BOREDOM WAS CLEANING YOUR FILTH!  
CG: I HAVE SEEN THE LIGHT, I AM NEVER VISITING AGAIN.  
CG: FUCK YOU FOREVER.  
TA: 2top throwiing a tantrum for fiive 2econd2 and lii2ten ok.  
TA: iim really 2orry, ii diidnt thiink iit would take thii2 long.  
TA: ju2t giive me ten more miinute2 and we can do whatever you want.  
TA: or whoever, eheheh.  
TA: kk?  
TA: you diidnt 2eriiou2ly go diid you?  
TA: fuck, iim 2uch an iidiiot, ii dont know why you put up wiith me.  
TA: youre goiing two come back and yell and iill yell back and 2ay 2omethiing horriible and youll fiinally cancel our friiend2hiip your2elf.  
TA: or whatever thii2 ii2.  
TA: fuck. kk plea2e an2wer.  
CG: HAHAHA I DIDN'T LEAVE, DUMBASS, I WAS JUST WATCHING YOU SQUIRM.  
TA: oh my god ii hate you.  
CG: NO YOU DON'T.  
CG: I'M HOLDING YOU TO WHAT YOU SAID. TEN. MINUTES. THAT'S ALL YOU GET BEFORE I TAKE DRASTIC MEASURES.  
TA: whatever, youll ju2t 2torm out.  
TA: whiich under the ciircum2tance2 miight end up dra2tiic 2o nevermiind.  
TA: ok ten miinute2, dont fuckiing bother me.

twinArmageddons ceased trolling carcinoGeneticist

Karkat knows perfectly well that it won't be ten minutes. Sollux has probably set an alarm he'll ignore completely, if he remembered for long enough to set one at all. It's a long-established pattern that usually sends Karkat storming home and refusing to answer Sollux's messages until they drip with so much self-loathing Karkat can't stand not to forgive him.

However, Karkat is sick of that hoofbeast shit. If yelling doesn't work, guilt doesn't work, and bargaining doesn't work, well, he'll just have to up the ante. Sollux was in a mood when he'd told Karkat to come over; maybe a physical reminder of that would knock him out of his stupid coding vortex.

Once ten minutes have passed, Karkat captchalogues his husktop and returns to Sollux's computer room. Just as he thought, the psionic is still staring at the screen and typing rapid-fire, completely oblivious to the flickering grub alarm beside him. He doesn't so much as twitch an eyebrow when Karkat looms over him.

"Hey, asshole, it's been ten minutes." Sollux grunts and keeps typing. Karkat leans close and says into his ear, "Captor. Ten minutes. Drastic consequences."

"Jutht a little longer," Sollux mumbles, not even sparing Karkat a glance.

Karkat heaves a sigh. He stays where he is, his lips hovering over the lobe of Sollux's ear. "What the fuck are you even doing, anyway?"

"You wouldn't get it," Sollux says with a snort, completely unmoved by the heat of Karkat's breath.

"Maybe I would if you bothered explaining," Karkat retorts, and runs his tongue along the edge of that ear.

"Maybe I would if you bothered lithening, which you obviouthly would not," Sollux says. A little tremor goes through him as Karkat sucks his earlobe, but then he's swatting him away. "Cathe in point!"

"Oh, sure, make it all my fault when you won't even try," Karkat huffs, avoiding the other troll's flailing hands for long enough to give him a false sense of security.

"I've tried before and it'th like talking to a wall." Sollux's fingers dance over the keyboard again. "Now if you don't mii _aaah **FUCK**_!" Sollux shudders as Karkat's fingers stroke the bases of all four horns.

Karkat yelps and jumps away as Sollux's psionics crackle along his hands with a jolt. "Ow, you prick!"

"You'd better be glad you didn't make me keythmash," Sollux says darkly as he slouches even further down in his chair. "Go fuck off for a while longer, ok."

Karkat retreats to the other side of the room as he rubs his hands and contemplates fucking right back off to his hive. This rigamarole is rapidly becoming completely not worth it. But this is also a matter of pride, and he'll be damned if he's going to be beaten out by some worthless virus.

This means putting something completely new on the table -- or under it, in this case.

He surveys the landscape. There isn't a whole lot of room beneath Sollux's desk -- the monstrosity he uses as a computer takes up the majority of the space. However, it's open and accessible from both sides, and Sollux invariably sits with his gangly legs spread wide. That leaves just enough room for a troll with shenanigans on his mind to kneel between them.

When Karkat slides under the desk from the back, Sollux doesn't stop typing or even look up. He doesn't even register that his space has been invaded until Karkat has to shift a skinny leg aside to squirm between them.

"KK, what the hell are you doing."

"I just dropped something and want to pick it up before your floor swallows it."

"Whatever."

Karkat can't quite believe that worked, but as he kneels there and waits, Sollux makes no move to shove him out. Good. He steels himself and contemplates the narrow pelvis before him, and, well, he has to admit that he does appreciate the view. For all he often makes barbed comments about Sollux resembling a bag of coat hangers, Karkat likes the psionic's skinniness and how he wears it with lanky grace.

He runs his hands up the insides of Sollux's legs in a firm stroke and breathes a satisfied sigh. He's going to enjoy this, no matter how long it takes the other troll to give up. In fact, the longer, the better; it'd give him an opportunity to try something he's been working up his courage to do for some time.

Sollux shifts at that touch and grumbles, but the clattering of keys doesn't slow. Karkat does it again, pausing to knead near Sollux's groin. Sollux fidgets. "I don't think you dropped anything _there_ , KK."

"Still haven't found what I want," Karkat says, devilish glee creeping into his tone.

"Whatever."

Whatever _again_ , huh? Karkat huffs and runs his hands up Sollux's hips, giving them a squeeze before he trails his fingers back down. "Hmm." He shifts closer to nuzzle one inner thigh. "I'm getting closer..."

Sollux grunts and those clatters get louder as he hits the keys with more force than necessary. Karkat rolls his eyes and sighs. Insufferable prick. He really is going to have to get drastic, isn't he.

Karkat gives Sollux's crotch a nuzzle and the other troll stiffens. "O-oh my god, theriouthly? Eheheh, you really are a needy bathtard." Sollux jabs Karkat with his heel.

"I don't think so, Captor," Karkat retorts as he kneads the inside of Sollux's thigh again. "I gave you your ten minutes." He nuzzles once more, rubbing his lips and cheek against the line of Sollux's bulge.

Sollux fidgets, the clattering of keys slowing. "Lieth. My alarm didn't even go off."

"Take another look, moron. It's been flashing for like five minutes." Karkat rubs his cheek along that bulge again and lets his eyes drift shut. "Now I'm taking measures."

"Eheheh, thith is your drathtic measure? Ooh, I'm tho bothered by your wriggler attemptth--" Sollux's breath hitches as Karkat rubs his thumb across the line of what is rapidly becoming a hard-on. "--to dithtract me," he finishes.

"Hot and bothered," Karkat says with amusement as he continues rubbing.

"Ath if." Sollux's typing abruptly picks up speed. "Do your wortht, grubfucker, I'll try to pretend to be dithtracted to feed your shriveled ego."

Sollux continues typing determinedly for all he's breathing hard. Karkat knows his game; Sollux thinks Karkat is playing cluckbeast with him, and he's is calling Karkat's bluff. They've never gone beyond handjobs before, and while said handjobs have progressed significantly from their first furtive and slightly embarrassing attempts, they are still a far cry from what Karkat is implying he's going to do.

What a surprise this is going to be!

Karkat slides Sollux's shirt up to reveal the waistband of his jeans and a strip of gray belly before leaning in to give the newly exposed skin a broad lick. " _Shit_ \--" Sollux hisses, then gasps as Karkat gives him a nip. "KK--"

"Mmh?" Karkat lays an open-mouthed, sucking kiss where he just nipped.

The psionic squirms. "You're k-kind of pitthing me off."

"Why in the world could that be?" Karkat asks as he thumbs open the button on Sollux's jeans.

"You're trying to dithtract me--" Sollux's typing falters as Karkat draws the zipper of his jeans down. "And it ithn't going to work."

"Sure it isn't. It's totally not working now," Karkat says cheerfully as he palms Sollux through his underwear and the psionic groans. "You're not distracted even a little."

"Nope." Sollux's typing begins with renewed determination, his fingers hitting the keys rather harder than necessary. Indeed, he seems to be tuning out Karkat's stroking even if his hard-on isn't. After all, right now it's looking like just another handjob, albeit from a different angle.

This doesn't stop Sollux from gasping when Karkat nuzzles him through his underwear, or when Karkat frees him from the same. He's so hard he's _stiff_ , and Karkat can't help but smirk at this clear indication that Sollux hopes Karkat is not, in fact, bluffing.

Karkat wraps his hand against Sollux's bulge and kneads the underside of its head with his thumb. Sollux squirms and hisses with annoyance. "Patience is a virtue," Karkat murmurs to himself. It's a little different looking at a bulge from this angle, seeing just how stroking his thumb against its head makes precome well up from its slit and ooze down, knowing it was going to be in his mouth and on his tongue soon. It's the moment of truth: Does he really want to do this?

Fuck. _Yes_.

Before Sollux can kick him, Karkat mouths the head of his bulge, working his tongue against the slit and licking up the salty-slick precome.

"Oh **fuck** \--" Sollux gasps, and _shudders_. "KK, thtop it, I'm not done," he whines.

Oh fuck, indeed. This was already hot enough that Karkat's jeans suddenly felt way too tight. "Oh, are you feeling distracted now?" Karkat rasps his tongue hard up the length of Sollux's shaft and the psionic moans.

"Maybe a little, ok, but nnh--" Sollux groans as Karkat licks him again, and again. "I jutht-- _aah_ \--" The stubborn asshole keeps typing even though he's going so slowly Karkat can hear every individual tap, so Karkat gives the head of his bulge a suck. "T-try harder," Sollux gasps.

Challenge accepted, asshole. Karkat laughs as he envelopes Sollux as far as he can, a throaty chuckle that makes the psionic whimper. He pulls back with a suck and mouths again, tongue flicking, and Sollux _whines_ , those key taps slowing further. But slow isn't enough, even stopped won't be enough. Moaning and begging and whimpering Karkat's name and coming like a firecracker, _that_ will be enough.

The thought makes Karkat moan as he works the head of Sollux's bulge again. Sollux gasps and pushes his hips up, but Karkat only envelopes him briefly before parting to lick him up and down. The psionic groans in frustration, a groan Karkat turns into a strangled whine by giving him an enveloping suck.

Sollux keeps trying to push himself up into Karakt's mouth, but Karkat draws away every time to lay sloppy sucking kisses down his length or against his head until the psionic lets up with a frustrated groan. In minutes Sollux's breathing has sped to panting, and Karkat's gasping now, too. He can't help but moan against Sollux's bulge as he palms his own through his jeans.

"Fuck, you're getting off on thith," Sollux breathes. It's only then that Karkat realizes that the typing stopped some time ago, as Sollux's long fingers have worked through his hair. "Mm, _god_ KK, more--"

"Mm-mm," Karkat hums as he tongues the head of Sollux's bulge, and the resultant groan makes him wish he could see the psionic's face.

"Pleathe?" Karkat hums a considering sound as he mouths, making Sollux shudder, only to shudder himself as invisible fingers push the hand he's palming himself with aside and free his own bulge. " _Pleathe_ ," Sollux moans as his physical fingers find Karkat's horns and his psionic fingers caress Karkat's bulge.

The twin waves of pleasure make Karkat blurt a groan as he slides his mouth down onto Sollux. The psionic cries out, his fingers moving as one to stroke Karkat in the ways he likes best, and in response Karkat devours him, sucking and enveloping and working his tongue. Fuck, he's slobbering all over the other troll's bulge but Sollux loves it, he's gasping and whimpering and pushing himself up into Karkat's mouth as much as Karkat will let him.

Karkat's doing more than his fair share of whimpering from that physical and psionic fondling. It's undoing him, being touched like this, making Sollux make sounds like he's never heard him make before. Sollux pleads with him for more and he's hungry to give it, so he grasps the base of Sollux's spit-slick bulge and strokes as he works his tongue against the head of it and _moans_.

"Aaah fuck KK, _fuck_ you're good--"

That psionic hold on Karkat's bulge tightens and strokes him like he's stroking Sollux and Karkat just about loses it. He moans desperately as he firms his mouth and sucks, tongue flicking hard, hand pumping. Sollux keens and gasps something again and again and it's his name, Karkat realizes, not KK but _Karkat_. That sends Karkat off, ecstasy twisting through him as his hips thrust against nothing and he screams against Sollux's bulge.

Karkat's screaming pushes Sollux over the edge as well, his psionics crackling along them both as Sollux blurts high, whimpering screams of his own and spills himself into Karkat's mouth. It's thick and gross and weird and amazing all at once, and Karkat swallows it down between his ragged moans.

Eventually he's slumped and gasping against Sollux's thigh and Sollux is stroking shaky fingers through his hair. "I-I think you dithtracted me pretty good," the psionic murmurs.

Karkat breathes a laugh. "Yeah?"

"Yeah. The latht three thcreenth of code are gibberish."

Karakt groans and hides his face against that thigh. "Oh, you complete _asshole_."

"Eheheh, you like it when I make you work for it!"


End file.
